- But I've got this pressing question, I just NEED an answer to.
I an a nursing & psychology student in the states, engaged to the most wonderful man on earth, we've been engaged for 2 years and still have 2 years to go before we finally say I do.
my relationship right from the get-go had been long distant, he being in Ghana and I here. As a result we have had stormy seas but a lot of calm peaceful waters too.
This is where my question comes in...
This past summer was one of those "off" seasons for my beloved and I, with a lot of petty misunderstanding. In that time, I travelled the states a lot to wear off some of the stress accumulated.
On the course of one of my journeys I met a very known recording artist. Initially it was just the usual "artist-meets-fan" sort of thing, pictures taken all the rest. But only God knows how we managed to exchange contacts after brief interesting conversation we had.
Of course I DIDN'T actually expect him to call or keep in touch, but he did he called that very night and we spoke for hours, he called again the next day, and the next.
He finally opened up to me and said he's attracted to me as a sister, and he wants us to keep our friendship. He was on tour at that time and so was travelling states. Few days later we decide to meet in new York and just chill for a while, which we did. But something felt different about it, something felt strange. He brought up the issue of marriage.
I had of course told him about my beloved long before then, so he was aware that I was engaged, but he just seemed to ignore that fact as he spoke. He said I was the kind of lady he had been looking for, he said he saw greatness in me, he saw the love of God among others.
I had a few question marks there. First off, you met me on a local journey!!!! you have no idea who I was! what if I were to be some sort of agent, or deceptive person. second the age gap was just too much, he being 13 years older than me, I was not sure how I would manage that. Third, although I have nothing against Nigerian men (i'm Nigerian myself), I just never saw myself ending up with one. Again, this is a man in international spot light, I was not sure I was ready for that. And to top it all off I was already engaged!
This fact didn't seem to bother him, at one point he told me that as long as I was not yet married, I was still in the market and he would do what he can.
To cut a very long story short, one thing led to another and I began developing feelings for him. I tried hard to kill them, but it was rather the affection for the man I was already engaged to that seem to dwindle.
He introduced me to a couple of people as his girl, and those even closer to him as his wife to be. In the end, I decided that I needed time, I felt things were happening way too fast, I was being pulled and shoved in all angles and I wanted to get to the root of it all.
I didn't want to marry any one for the wrong reasons, and above all I wanted a clear mind for school!
- He agreed to give me all the time I needed, calling his love for me unconditional, and in case I change my mind towards me he would still love me all the same.
I began to feel safe with him, I felt happy, I thought he may actually be worth my while.
Until I came back to my base and things changed bad, and I mean very very bad. He stopped caring, he stopped calling he even stopped sending texts. This was very very strange, this was a man that would call almost every hour, text every minute and send pictures of his activities as he does them.
So one day I called him up to ask what was happening, he attributed the distance to his work load. I understood. But weeks went by and I didn't hear from him at all. At this point in time, my feelings for him, although I didn't fully confess it to him (he did know that I really cared though) had blossomed. I slowly entered a state of depression and anger. What had I done to my self??? I was ready to turn my back on my beloved for someone like this?!
I decided to call in one last time. After series of he ignoring my calls (although he said it was studio work, prayer or some other excuse) he picked and I told him I needed to talk to him. I asked him where he wanted us to go? and if he was still interested. Again, he professed love and all that came with it, but said he wants to pray about us.........hold up! when you first brought this idea of marriage to me, I asked if you've sought God, and you told me God gave you peace about it! I got fed up and went to speak with one of the ladies he introduced me to as "wife". she told me this story of how she's seen his face light up with joy since I came in to play and all, but she cannot tell why he is behaving the way he is of late.
few days later, I go online and find out he is in AFRICA!!!!! he left without even saying bye. I felt so used, but at the same time I also didn't understand because he never slept with me. I know guys to use ladies by promising marriage, messing them up and leave, but I did not understand his game.- whilst in africa, he never called and I decided I too would not reach out to him. But then I find out later he had been communicating with my mother, (my mum did not know we had extra feelings somewhere, I introduced him to her as elder brother in the Lord at that point in time. She was excited because she naturally liked him) I was stunned!
I decided withing me that this was a waste of my time. I repented. sought God for restoration. /I still took off time from my relationship because I needed total healing.
One day I called, this lady (the artist's friend) that i'm known to as Nne Oma (as he pet named me) and no response. Day after day I tried her assuming she was busy with work of some sort, but it was unlike her, we grew pretty close and returned each others missed calls right away. I began suspecting something fishy, so I called her husband who later informed me that I called. Later that night she sent me a very heart breaking text message, speaking in parables.
Call it desperation, or what ever you may but I do not believe in malice, or unresolved conflicts. I don't believe matured Christians, or anyone for that matter should engage in petty teenage behavior of malice, so I text to asked her what I possibly could have done to deserve such a response. Till date, I haven't gotten a response from her. Neither have I heard from the man, or any one I met through them.
As though they just erased that episode of themselves from my life.
With time, my hubby to be and I grew closer than ever, I narrated this story to him and that's when he told me that some time ago, he went on his knees before God when he felt our engagement was being broken, and basically spoke against anything, being or what not that would try deviate the will of God in our lives.
I want to believe this is the reason those people stopped speaking to me so abruptly and for no apparent reason, but I wanted to know, could there be any other possibility I am over looking?
Thanks........
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