Remember Your Vows...ALWAYS

In sickness and in health, till death do us part” she smiled at him through her veil.
“You may now kiss your bride Mr. Lawson” The Pastor beckoned.
Lawson’s heart raced as he gently unveiled his bride’s face. She looked so beautiful. He gently bent over and placed a soft kiss on her lip. Sarah in turn embraced him tightly with tears of joy streaming down her face.
“Never leave me Sarah” He whispered in her ear.
“I will never leave you” she whispered and they slowly released themselves from the embrace.
“I present to you the latest couple!” The Pastor exclaimed excitedly
The church cheered and Sarah cried more in her husband’s arms
5 years Later
Sarah silently tip toed behind her husband. He was in his study, engrossed in reading. She smiled to herself and gently covered his eyes with both hands.
“It’s just you and I in this house Sara, plus, I smelled you the moment you walked in” He dropped
Sara released her hold, sighed and sat on the study table, “Why do you figure me out so easily? I can’t even surprise you! That sucks” she curled her arms around his neck
“You are my wife, nothing you do is supposed to surprise me” He playfully pecked her nose.
“But you’ve been in the study all day and I’m bored!” She rolled her eyes
“So what kind of fun do you suggest we have then?” He swooped her off the table in his arms
“No! no that kind of fun!” She hit him playfully till he put her down
“Ok”, He folded his arms on his chest, looking into her eyes, “So what do you want us to do?”
“Not us. Actually, all I want is to play with your play station and you’ve hidden it again! Just give it and you can continue your reading. pleaaaseee” She blinked her eyes playfully
“No way”, He went back toward his study chair and sat, “Not my play station”
“Why! You never let me touch it…like its your baby” She sulked
“Well”, he rolled his eyes, “Not like you’ve given me a baby yet”
Sara paused for a moment. Did he just say that to her? The words struck her deep down
“You shouldn’t have said that Lawson…” She managed to say, her countenance changing.
“But it’s true…I’m only saying the truth Sara” He turned to face her, still sitting on the chair.
“The truth? You think I don’t want us to have kids?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that…” He stood to face her now.
“Then what are you saying Lawson? Tell me, what is the truth?”
“Let’s not do this today…please. You can have the play station and play all you want. It’s in my footwear locker and the key is in my Bible”
“You always do this…hurting me with your words” Her voice began to shake
“Don’t start Sara please”
“Tell me why you said those words to me! I want to know!”
“Because I’m tired! I want to be a father! I want to have my own kids Sara…”
” and you think I don’t?!” Sara flared, trying not to let the tears pour
“Then why can’t you get pregnant Sara? This is the fifth year we are trying.” He clenched his teeh and walked out of the study.
Sara was in shock. She sat on the chair for some seconds, stood up again and saton the chair again…this time she held on to her blouse and burst into tears.
2weeks after
“Lawson, wake up please” Sara tapped him
Lawson gently opened his eyes and looked at the alarm clock by his bedside, “It’s 2:00am Sara…”
“It’s urgent”
“I’m listening” He said drowsily
“Mother says we should come for tests. She says she’s spoken to her doctor and he said we should come.”
“What?” Lawson opened his eyes now, “Your mother is the UK for Christs sakes”
“Let’s just do it. We can go for the weekend, lets just give it a shot, please.”
“No. That would be rather expensive and…”
“It’s my birthday today and the only thing I want from you is this trip”
Lawson fell quiet now. For the past two years now, his wife’s birthday skips his mind…totally.
“I’m…I’m sorry Sara…It skipped my mind…”
“It always does” She lay down back on the bed, backing him.
Lawson wrapped his arms around her waist, “I said I’m sorry…”
No response.
Lawson sighed, “Fine, we go this weekend”
“Really?” She turned sharply, excited
“If it will make you happy today”
“Thank you baby” She hugged him.
A week after
Sara jerked at the vibration of the phone in her pocket.
“Hi mom!” she pressed the phone to her ear with her shoulders, wiping the washed dishes with her hands.
“Honey…”
“What is it mom?” she pressed it harder
“The result…the result of the tests…” her mother cried
Sarah gently dropped the plate and the wiper, hear racing…”Just say it mom…”
That night
“I can never have children Lawson…” Sara cried
Lawson felt his world crash right in front of him, “W…what?”
“Mama called today…she’s gotten the tests results”
“Jesus Christ” Lawson stood, placing his palm on his head, “b…but you told m you were ok before we got married, you told me the doctor said your abortion didn’t damage your womb”
“Don’t bring my past into this!” Sara flared
Lawson laughed and got serious almost immediately, “You are crazy. I married a crazy woman!”
Sara looked at him in shock, like he’d lost his mind.
“The results say you can never have children and we bith know that this has to do with the abortion you had before we met!”, he flared, “are you happy?…you know we’re screwed right? No kids? what re we going to tell the world?”
“Lawson we can adopt…” Sara cried
“Adopt? Wow!”, he laughed again, “I married a funny woman too!” He got sserious again, “Its still not our baby! The damn baby is not my flesh and blood! You are full of deceit Sara” He looked into her eyes. Sara could see him fighting his tears.
“Lawson stop…you are hurting me…” Sara fell on her knees crying
“You want to know what I’m thinking?” Lawson looked at her with disgust, “I’m thinking how on earth I’m going to stand seeing your deceitful face for the rest of my life”
“Sra cried harder, “Dont give up Lawson…So far I have a womb…I can still carry our baby…”
“I am not giving up on having my baby, I’m giving up on you” Lawson turned around to leave
“Lawson!” She held his feet, “I’m hurting too…”
He only dragged his feet from her hold and drove out of the house. She wept.
A month Later
“Mother, he’s not even talking to me. All of a sudden we are both strangers…He doesn’t eat my food, comes home late…he hates me so much and its killing me. I’m confused…to think that it’s ,e truly hurting…”
“For how long will you hide this truth from him. You’ve got to let him know…you can’t carry his…”
There was the sound of a car hon
“Mom I’ve got to go…he’s back”
“Baby, you’ve got to let him know. It can work when you two are one in mind”
“Bye mom” she ended the call.
Lawson came into the house, about to walk past her.
“Lawson” She held him
“I’m tired” He didn’t want to look at her face
“I know…can we talk for some minutes?” She tried to help him remove his suit
“Look what is it” He jerked from her
“Do you hate me this much? you can’t even look me in the eye? you can’t even stand my sight? Lawson…it’s me Sara…your best friend…” Her eyes grew moist
“I’m in no mood for this” He turned around to walk away
“Don’t you dare leave when I’m talking to you!” She dragged him by the suit.Just then, some papers fell to the floor. Sara quickly bent to pick them up…her hands shook and her body became numb all over.
“Ddivorce papers? Lawson?” She searched his eyes
“Answer me goddammit!” She held him by the collar of his shirt, crying
“They are for you to sign. I want out” Lawson dropped
“Y…you what?” she slowly freed him from her hold
“It’s not going to work Sara, can’t you see?”
“Lawson I can’t believe you would think of a divorce and even go this far…why are you so wicked!” she cried, angry
“No! Why are you so wicked!” He retorted, flaring
“Think about me for once. I am a man for Christs sakes. My children are my pride! and you are about to deny me that for the rest of my life because of your stupid mistake!”
“What about me! have you stopped for once to think about what I’m going through”
“Its your cross, carry it” Lawson fixed his angry eyes on his wife
“No, its now our cross and I am not signing those divorce papers! We vowed never to leave each other!”
“Isn’t it better Sara that you save yourself more hurt and sign these papers than to see another woman move into this house before your very eyes?” he said with a tone of sarcasm
Sara’s heart thumped, “What?”
“You heard me…another woman who can help raise a family, so save yourself the stress and sign the damn papers. I need it tomorrow”He turned around to leave again
“She still can;t carry your baby” Sara dropped
“Not all women had abortions. Not every woman was like you.” He scorned
“You are the one who can’t give me a child!” Sara let out, crying.
Lawson stopped now, turned around and walked towards her, “Whatever your plan is won’t work”
“I told you I could never have a child because its you who can’t make me pregnant”
“Shut up! shut up Sara! what the hell are you saying!” He shook her shoulders violently
“You are infertile Lawson…the doctor says you have primary infertility…” Sara burst into tears
Lawson gasped, loosing his balance.
“Mother called me to give me the news. I was shattered, I felt like my world was over but more importantly I thought of you. I thought of what the news could do to you, I thoight of the best way to tell you… never for once did i think of leaving you. I bore your insults, your scorn, because of my past. It was so easy to judge me and think of yourself. I am the one who is hurting, I am the one who should bring some miserable divorce papers…but I thought of you…I thought of hope, faith and a miracle…I thought of my vow to you on that altar. In sickness and in health remember?”, she smiled through her tears, “all of a sudden you are as weak as a baby…looking in your eyes, I can see you sudenly have lost all your guards, You are so wicked”
“Sara…” Lawson fell on his knees, torn.
“No!” She quickly fell on her knees too, “No Lawson…” She couldn’t bear to see him cry
“I’m…I’m infertile”, he cried, “What is left of me?” he searched his wife’s eyes
“Lawson please…” she held his face, “I understand…it has been so hard for me…I have put myself in your shoes since the first day…”
“You don’t deserve this…you deserve better…I can’t believe I scorned you all along…please let me leave you”
“No” she shook her head, “You are my husband. I won’t leave you. I won’t let you leave me…I believe in miracles”
“I’m doomed…Sara I’m doomed…”He allowed his wife take him in her arms and on her shoulder he wept like a child.
In the Morning
Sara gently opened her eyes, looking beside her bed…it was empty. She quickly sat up on seeing a note gently placed on the bed. Hands shaking, she opened the letter to read.
Sara,
I cannot bear the shame. I have treated you so unfairly, yet you love me still, you are with me even in this condition of mine. To think that you knew all along and you never for once gave me a clue that it is my fault we are in this mess, makes me so unworthy of you. I love you enough to let you build another life with a man who can make you happier. I’m torn Sara and all I ask is your forgiveness. I have always loved you and if you truly love me then please start your life over again…without me…I am truly sorry for disappointing you.
Lawson.
Sara couldn’t control the tears. She couldn’t think straight anymore. She picked her cell phone, shaking…
“Hi Mr. Lawson’s office please”
“hI Lola…” she cried, “have you seen my husband today?”
“No…no ma’am, we’ve been expecting him at work. He has a presentation is fifteen minutes”
“Oh God…God…” Sara dipped her hand in her full hair
“Everything ok ma’am?”
“Thank you” she ended the call.
She quickly got down from the bed and in her pajamas she ran into her car. She dialed his number repeatedly as she drove…no answer.
At 2:00pm
She sped into Fred’s compound, a close friend to her husband.
“Fred!” she banged the door hastily till the door flung open
“My God Sara what’s wrong?” Fred held her
“It’s…its Lawson…have you seen him? is he here?”
“No…Haven’t heard from him in a week”
“Oh God” she held her hair
“What’s wrong?”
But she was already walking away into her car.
“Sara!” He called after her.
She zoomed away.
4:30pm
“Mom, Dad, I can’t find Lawson…I can’t find your son…” she cried as she paced in front of the two who looked lost
“You have to calm down and tell us what happened” Lawson’s mother put her arms around Sara.
Sara burst into tears, “Please Dad could you try his number, maybe he’d pick your call?”
“Have you been to his office?” He picked his cellphone and dialed his son’s number
“I have been everywhere I know him to be likely available”
“It’s ok…calm down please” Lawson’s mother pet her
“He’s not picking. What exactly went wrong between you two?” Lawson’s father searched Sara’a eyes
9:00pm
Sara was still in her pajamas and on her way back home, exhausted and stuck in the traffic. She had told Lawson’s parents everything. The poor couple was so shattered and also begging her to begin a new life. Sara buried her head on the steering, crying; she hadn’t realized the green light.
“Hey get off the freaking road!” a driver cursed from behind her
“God please don’t let him harm himself…keep him safe and lead me to him…please God…” she quickly started the car and began to move.
Suddenly she remembered the church where they wedded and took their vows. It was two hours from here; she made a u-turn and headed for the church hoping to find some peace.
She tiredly got down from the car, drenched and exhausted. She trudged into the open entrance of the church. She paused for a moment; shocked…it was Lawson sitting at the front row of the empty church, facing the altar.
“Lawson!” She began to run towards him, happy, relieved that he was ok.
“Sara?” He quickly stood as she approached him, “Sara…”
They both ran into each other’s arms. He hugged her so tightly
“I looked for you everywhere….thi s was the last place I thought you’d ever be…I just came and I saw you…Lawson….I’m so happy you are ok” she touched his face
“I didn’t know where else to go…It just feels like I cant face the world anymore…” he slowly released her from his embrace.
“Take my hand” Sara stretched out her hand, “C’mon, just take it”
Lawson gently clasped his hand into hers and she took him to the altar and stood to face him. She searched his eyes so deeply and hadn’t seen him so weak and helpless.
“Five years ago Lawson, we both stood on this altar. Remember our vows? Remember you whispered in my ear never to leave you. I told you I wouldn’t…that’s why I’m here. I am your wife Lawson, I am meant to be with you forever, though the bad and good times. We’ve had good times, why would I leave you now? All I want from you is to believe that you can still give me a child despite what the result said…I want you to believe in a miracle”, she held his face, “remember when you told me I was a miracle in your life?…our children will be our miracles too. Trust God with me because I know it won’t be long…”
“Who are you Sara…” Lawson was weak with her words
“The one who vowed to be with you till the end” she smiled through her thin tears
“God I love you so much Sara” He hugged her again
“So will you come back home with me?” Sara searched his eyes
“I have no other place to call home” He placed a soft kiss on her lips.
2 years after
Lawson and Sara were on the sofa watching a late night movie. Sara was resting on his shoulders when she felt the movement
“Lawson Lawson, it moved again…don’t miss it this time touch touch” she gently placed his palm on the side of the stomach. Both felt the movement of their child
“I can feel him…I can feel him” Lawson placed his head on her belly
“I can feel him growing each day inside of me…”
“What do you think its saying now by this movement?”
“Thank you dada for believing in me” she laughed. They both laughed “The movement has stopped” he slowly removed his head from her stomach, “I think he’s sleeping”
Sara rested on his shoulders again, “In six months you’d be a father, “You finally got your miracle”
Lawson tilted his wife’s face to him, looking into her eyes, “Sara…you were the miracle I needed. Thank you for not leaving me.”
Sara tickled his nose with hers, “I love you too. Always will”, she smiled, “We missed a whole lot on our movie”
“Movie can wait, but this can’t” He gently planted a kiss on her belly.
Hi Friends,
First, we forget our vows so easily, so quickly that once our marriages start hitting the rocks, we fail to realize that there is power in union. When there is union, every mountain can be subdued. The problem is people don’t yet understand the concept of marriage and trust me, until you do, please don’t go to the alter because what you don’t understand will eventually become a burden and confuse you. The concept of marriage is ‘for better, for worse’. The ‘worse’ moments always come. I am not saying expect bad things but I’m saying that challenges come in marriage to make you stronger in oneness so don’t use it against yourselves.
Second, miracles are real and I hope we all learn to have the patience to have our miracles in the end. Remember that marriage is a ‘stick and stay’ relationship not a ‘hit and run’ thing.
Remember your vows each day, enjoy your marriage, you deserve it...

Not ready yet

I have been dating a girl for the past four years, and everything has been good so far. But she recently opened up and told me that she would like us to get married as soon as possible.

But the problem is, I am currently unemployed, and I'm not ready for marriage right now. One reason is because I want to finish my masters degree program before proceeding to anything remotely close to marriage. But my girlfriend has finished her BSC and has started working, and now she is eager to marry.
I really want to finish my programm and get a good job like her before settling down. There is also another issue; my mother said that I should not marry her because of her attitude, and also because she is not from the same tribe as me.

But each time my girlfriend brings up the issue of marriage, I find myself making promises that I am not sure I can keep. I keep insisting and promising to marry her. Please help me because I am under a lot of pressure from my girlfriend about the marriage and also from my mother who insists that I don't marry my girlfriend.
My girlfriend has been given me alot of problems, pls help me out. Should I follow my mothers advice or what should I do?

...at a breaking point...Contemplating Divorce!

Hello AWM,
please post this. I need the advice of your audience.

I really don't know where to start. My life has been filled with sadness, anger, tears, and I wish I could find some happiness. I am so f...

ed up with my marriage and every sight of my 'husband' fills me with despair, gloom and unhappiness.

I've been married for almost 5 years and it feels like 5 years of torture. It feels like someone purposely sent my husband to me as an unbearable punishment for my sins ( I have not done anything out of the ordinary by the way).

I can be likened to one of the good girls who ended up with a "bad boy". It feels like a bad smell that has refused to go away.
He makes excuses for his behaviour....he has never admitted anything as his fault. He has even accused me of not " enhancing his progress since we married ". (Behind every successful man is a woman, right?). Ok, what if you take a horse to the river and it refuses to drink? He also said, "I have not seen any progress in my life since we got married" (pls, bear in mind he was even worse off before we got married).

My story!
I met my husband like 13 years ago back in our country. In fact, he was my first love. I came to the UK first, and he later joined me and we got married.
A few months before we married, I stumbled upon a voice recording message of him having sexual intercourse with another girl. I was furious! He denied at first but the truth was glaring. He apologised and I forgave him! Well, big mistake.
Warning to all single ladies; never EVER marry a man without a job!

Fast forward to married life... I have not known peace for a week stretch without issues. In fact, he was arrested a month after we married because of drink driving on his late night parole with his so called friends. He was caught another time with a lady in MY CAR!
I remember I begged him not to cheat on me when I fell pregnant with our first child. He replied as a joke, 'but I need someone to help out my situation'.

I have discovered text messages on his phone with girls on how they've had sex, overheard him talking to his friend about 'using' a girl and even discovered condom in his pocket. Well, he now has a password on his blackberry.

In a lot of cases, my husband would go out the night before and won't return until 8am (or later) the next day.
Some people would say infidelity is common amongst men but I assume that many of these adulterers take care of their family financially? Well, not in my husbands case!

I am the bread winner of the family because my husband has refused to look for work. He was laid off almost two years ago. In fact, I discovered he was laid off a few months later when I did my investigation. He would leave the house at same time in the evening and pretend to go to work. Where does he go to? I've got no clue!
I have pushed and pushed for him to get a job. Done up his resume, sent tons and tons of application on his behalf but nothing. Because has picked out the sort of jobs he would NEVER do.

This is a man in his 30's with two kids, a wife and bills to pay. So far, I am stuck with a man who isn't looking for work, loves to live a good life by wearing nice clothes and portrays a good life outside of his home.

In fact, I have to lie to family members and friends about what my husband does. I seriously don't know who to speak to about my situation.
Bills are piling up and the mortgage in my name needs to be paid as I have lost my job. He has now decided to go back to UNI to start a 3 year degree( even though he attended a university back home for 4 good years).


I have been tempted to ask for separation a lot of times but the patient part of me would tell me to hang in there.
We have not had sexual relationship for 10 months and I have never cheated on him ( not like I don't have the opportunity to do so), just that the guilt would be too much for me to handle. I would rather separate from him first than have a guilt hanging over my head!

Please tell me, does my story call for us to separate? I am tired of carrying this burden on my own.

 

Rumor has it...

I'm seeking public's opinion about my relationship.

 My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now and recently we have been doing the long relationship thing due to work. But we are serious since we have introduced each other to our parents and we are about to get married next year..........

 I was told that he has been lying to me though, and it is reliably rumored that he is going to marry another girl this coming weekend, something he has persistently denied anytime I asked him about it.
So pls what should I do becos I love him and I can't let him go?

Do we have a future together?

Dear AWM,

I have been reading the advise on relationship issues and they are always interesting. I now think now is the time to find out what others will say about the issues i am having in my relatioship. Plz hide my ID

I have been dating my Bf for a year now and we are planning to get married when he graduates from school. I will graduate before him and my wish is to get pregnant get as soon a...

s i find a stable job before getting married officially(i was pregnant for him before but i had a miscarriage. Due to some health issues my doctor advised me to have another baby soon.Since then i keep wanting to get pregnant but i dont want us to plan it together. Each time i talk to him about it we have a fight. He already have a kid from his previous relationship. I also finds out that there are lots of little stuff that he is very careless about e.g when it comes to putting things back at the right places after using them. That irritates me alot. I have done my best to correct him but he keep doing them. When it comes to love, he shows me all the love that need. But for some reason i just don't respond to him the way he wants me to. I have been thinking about ending the relationship but again i am afraid of not finding some one who will care for me like him because i have really had sad experiences in my past.

I keep feeling that may be the reason he don't want me to get pregnant before we get married is because he may be lying to me that he loves me and just using school as an excuss to stay with me for, or may be because he already have a child. I tried to talk to him many times but he will not change his mind.What to you think i should do? Let go of him or just hang around till when ever he graduates. He got about 2yrs before he graduates and i will be done in 4months time.

Hey AWM,

I give you guys hand for real, enjoy seeing what i see from the page.

• But I've got this pressing question, I just NEED an answer to.
• 
  I an a nursing & psychology student in the states, engaged to the most wonderful man on earth, we've been engaged for 2 years and still have 2 years to go before we finally say I do.
• 
  my relationship right from the get-go had been long distant, he being in Ghana and I here. As a result we have had stormy seas but a lot of calm peaceful waters too.
  This is where my question comes in...
  This past summer was one of those "off" seasons for my beloved and I, with a lot of petty misunderstanding. In that time, I travelled the states a lot to wear off some of the stress accumulated.
  On the course of one of my journeys I met a very known recording artist. Initially it was just the usual "artist-meets-fan" sort of thing, pictures taken all the rest. But only God knows how we managed to exchange contacts after brief interesting conversation we had.
• 
  Of course I DIDN'T actually expect him to call or keep in touch, but he did he called that very night and we spoke for hours, he called again the next day, and the next.
  He finally opened up to me and said he's attracted to me as a sister, and he wants us to keep our friendship. He was on tour at that time and so was travelling states. Few days later we decide to meet in new York and just chill for a while, which we did. But something felt different about it, something felt strange. He brought up the issue of marriage.
  I had of course told him about my beloved long before then, so he was aware that I was engaged, but he just seemed to ignore that fact as he spoke. He said I was the kind of lady he had been looking for, he said he saw greatness in me, he saw the love of God among others.
• 
  I had a few question marks there. First off, you met me on a local journey!!!! you have no idea who I was! what if I were to be some sort of agent, or deceptive person. second the age gap was just too much, he being 13 years older than me, I was not sure how I would manage that. Third, although I have nothing against Nigerian men (i'm Nigerian myself), I just never saw myself ending up with one. Again, this is a man in international spot light, I was not sure I was ready for that. And to top it all off I was already engaged!
• 
  This fact didn't seem to bother him, at one point he told me that as long as I was not yet married, I was still in the market and he would do what he can.
• 
  To cut a very long story short, one thing led to another and I began developing feelings for him. I tried hard to kill them, but it was rather the affection for the man I was already engaged to that seem to dwindle.
  He introduced me to a couple of people as his girl, and those even closer to him as his wife to be. In the end, I decided that I needed time, I felt things were happening way too fast, I was being pulled and shoved in all angles and I wanted to get to the root of it all.
  I didn't want to marry any one for the wrong reasons, and above all I wanted a clear mind for school!

 

• He agreed to give me all the time I needed, calling his love for me unconditional, and in case I change my mind towards me he would still love me all the same.
  I began to feel safe with him, I felt happy, I thought he may actually be worth my while.
  Until I came back to my base and things changed bad, and I mean very very bad. He stopped caring, he stopped calling he even stopped sending texts. This was very very strange, this was a man that would call almost every hour, text every minute and send pictures of his activities as he does them.
• 
  So one day I called him up to ask what was happening, he attributed the distance to his work load. I understood. But weeks went by and I didn't hear from him at all. At this point in time, my feelings for him, although I didn't fully confess it to him (he did know that I really cared though) had blossomed. I slowly entered a state of depression and anger. What had I done to my self??? I was ready to turn my back on my beloved for someone like this?!
  I decided to call in one last time. After series of he ignoring my calls (although he said it was studio work, prayer or some other excuse) he picked and I told him I needed to talk to him. I asked him where he wanted us to go? and if he was still interested. Again, he professed love and all that came with it, but said he wants to pray about us.........hold up! when you first brought this idea of marriage to me, I asked if you've sought God, and you told me God gave you peace about it! I got fed up and went to speak with one of the ladies he introduced me to as "wife". she told me this story of how she's seen his face light up with joy since I came in to play and all, but she cannot tell why he is behaving the way he is of late.
• 
  few days later, I go online and find out he is in AFRICA!!!!! he left without even saying bye. I felt so used, but at the same time I also didn't understand because he never slept with me. I know guys to use ladies by promising marriage, messing them up and leave, but I did not understand his game.
•  
•  whilst in africa, he never called and I decided I too would not reach out to him. But then I find out later he had been communicating with my mother, (my mum did not know we had extra feelings somewhere, I introduced him to her as elder brother in the Lord at that point in time. She was excited because she naturally liked him) I was stunned!
• 
  I decided withing me that this was a waste of my time. I repented. sought God for restoration. /I still took off time from my relationship because I needed total healing.
  One day I called, this lady (the artist's friend) that i'm known to as Nne Oma (as he pet named me) and no response. Day after day I tried her assuming she was busy with work of some sort, but it was unlike her, we grew pretty close and returned each others missed calls right away. I began suspecting something fishy, so I called her husband who later informed me that I called. Later that night she sent me a very heart breaking text message, speaking in parables.
  Call it desperation, or what ever you may but I do not believe in malice, or unresolved conflicts. I don't believe matured Christians, or anyone for that matter should engage in petty teenage behavior of malice, so I text to asked her what I possibly could have done to deserve such a response. Till date, I haven't gotten a response from her. Neither have I heard from the man, or any one I met through them.
• 
  As though they just erased that episode of themselves from my life.
  With time, my hubby to be and I grew closer than ever, I narrated this story to him and that's when he told me that some time ago, he went on his knees before God when he felt our engagement was being broken, and basically spoke against anything, being or what not that would try deviate the will of God in our lives.
  I want to believe this is the reason those people stopped speaking to me so abruptly and for no apparent reason, but I wanted to know, could there be any other possibility I am over looking?
  Thanks........