I am a 29 year old mixed (Swedish, German, n Trinidadian) woman in love with a 26 year old man from Liberia, the heat I get from other African women is horrible. Almost hateful, should I allow this to pull us apart or should I fear that this will one day become an issue as far as the time and compassion takes part. Should I fear loving him wholeheartedly, this is driving me crazy but I don't wan to give up on the first man that truly makes me happy. This gives me fear and I am not trying to run him away, please help me understand this issue and what I could do to make this less uncomfortable then it is. Please help if you can, confused I'm almost heartbroken....
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteIt's touching reading your story and also, very inspiring. You love the man, he makes you happy - just focus on those two things. I'm a full blooded African woman - not your stereotypical type but take it from me, you can never understand why other African women treat you the way they do. It's jealousy, envy, betrayal and that's something you cannot help them with. It's their problem so let them deal with it. If your man, hasn't given you any reason to be concerned, then don't run him off.
Even in the African world, sometimes, if a man falls for a woman outside his tribe, that woman sometimes goes through the exact thing you are experiencing from other women in the man's tribe. So you see, it's not just that you are non-African but African women do it to other african women too.
I think you should also communicate how you feel to him and you can both work through it together. Sometimes, men are oblivious of these things so let him know that it's taking a toll on you.
Those women hating on you, they only wish they were you so be proud of it and keep your head high!
Don't give up on your man, just because some bitter and jealous women are hating on you. They are jealous of what you got and you shouldn't let their opinion affect your and sabotage your relationship. I bet your man doesn't even cares about what the others Africans women think. I'm African myself,and i don't believe in all of the rules about necessarily having to marry someone from your country/tribe or whatever....
ReplyDeleteIf your are truly in love with him and he shares the same exact feeling, then love him, care for him, hold him down like a real woman should. Just be happy and live and love freely. Each and every person on this has the right whoever they choose regardless of their ethnicity or origins.
Stick to your own relationship with the man YOU love, and, hopefully, HE also loves you. THAT'S ALL that matters in a true loving relationship. You say you get "heat" from others. It does not matter who they are! Why are YOU exposing yourself to them? Change your location. Go somewhere where you and he will be happy with the friends you BOTH have. You don't need to take "heat" from anybody. Get away from people that don't like you. You are NOT married to them! Leave them alone. They may never change, or it may take too long (a lifetine) to change them. leave them to their own feelings. get on with your own life!
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